Do you keep asking yourself, “Is this normal?”

Does any of this sound familiar?

• You rehearse conversations in your head before you have them.
• You apologize, even when you’re not sure what you did.
• You check their mood before you walk through the door.
• You’ve stopped telling friends certain things, because it’s easier.
• You watch someone you love shrink a little more every time you see them.
• At work, your concerns somehow keep turning back on you.

If even one of these hit home, you’re in the right place.

It’s hard to see a pattern from inside it.

Harmful relationships rarely change all at once. They shift a little at a time, so each moment is easy to explain away. That isn’t weakness. It’s how people are wired. Clarity comes from stepping back and looking at the whole pattern.

Which question is yours?

Each Clarity Tool is $59, private and self-scored. It opens in your browser on any device, and it’s yours to keep and re-use as often as you’d like.

“Oh, my. I knew something was wrong, and this showed me what it was and how bad it was. Thank you. I get it now.”— Z.B.

Every month of wondering costs something.

Sleep. Confidence. Time you won’t get back. You don’t have to decide anything today. You only have to look. Seeing clearly is the step that makes every other step possible.

Choose my Clarity Tool

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Dr. Dina McMillan · Stanford-educated social psychologist · 25+ years of research · 4,500+ interviews with survivors · TEDx talk with nearly 500,000 views

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233.